Wow-ful Women Wednesdays

Well, I made it to about 3:40 before I totally lost it. I call that progress.

"You are everything you've promised....Alleluia"

Wow-ful Women Wednesdays

I know these guys aren't women. I know that. And I know that this feature is called "Wow-ful Women Wednesdays". Doesn't matter. Let these lyrics sink in. I know I need to. This ought to be my heart's cry everyday, but particularly after the teaching I received at our church's recent Ladies' Retreat.


Enjoy. Downhere, with "Let me Rediscover You".

True and Better

Sometimes, playing the comparison game is a good idea. Here's just such a time.

True & Better from Peter Artemenko on Vimeo.

Wow-ful Women Wednesday

Ah, yes. Here it is: a link to the blog I wish I wrote. I know I usually post a song on a day like today, but this post is so absolutely where I'm at these days. And I believe it will ring true with all my church family and our MATEO dreams. For those of you who don't know what that means, please ask me. I'd love to tell you. In the meantime, read this post by Ann Voskamp, a mom, just like me, who has kids to teach, and words to speak and write,...and seeds to sow.

Read her gorgeous post here.

Happy 5th of May!

My prayer this month...

The Impossiblity of it All

It is no mistake that you are a mom. And it is no surprise to hear that Motherhood is a hard job. And yes, there will be days where the task seems more daunting than you bargained.

But here’s the thing: the perfect place from which to parent is that place where you are at your lowest, crying out to the Lord, saying, “I can’t do this today. Will you be my strength and do it for me? I don’t know how to do this. Will you be my wisdom?”

His answer will be yes. And his solution will be immeasurably better than your attempt.

Don’t be ashamed to admit weakness in your parenting. There is a huge upside to being weak.


Continue reading my latest post for Heart of the Matter Online here.

Battling Depression Part Four

This article is overdue. It was supposed to be submitted to the editor six days ago. And here is why it is late: I’m terrified to write it.

These last three posts have been significantly harder to write than I expected. What I’m finding is that in order to write convincingly and honestly, I have to relive a bit of what I felt in those dark days. I fully expected that it would be a theoretical reliving. What I found was that the darkness loomed much too close for comfort, crossing over from past memory to present threat. This, clearly, was not okay with me.

And so, with one final article to write for Heart of the Matter, and with a book in the wings on which I am working, I am finding the fear of what might be lurking around the corner to be a significant deterrent to getting the job done. I would love to be able to say to you, “I am willing to find myself back in the pit of Despair in order to write this book so long as even one person is helped by it.” But that would be a total lie. There is no part of me that wants to experience that pain again. Not for a moment. Not for you. Not for myself. Not for the sake of my family. Not at all. Period.

Please read my latest Heart of the Matter Online Article here.

Wow-ful Women Wednesday

Okay. Really? All these people? On one stage? Together? At the same time? Singing? Worshipping? At the same time? Seriously.

My kids are saying that I shouldn't really post this video on Wow-ful Women Wednesday because there is only one woman. And really it isn't about that for me anyway today. This video is being used by the Lord to teach me a lesson today. There has been a very specific theme in what I'm hearing and reading and discussing these days, and this video represents a whole lot of what I need to learn.

Thanks to my friend, Wendy, for posting this video this week. I certainly wouldn't have found it otherwise.

Wow-ful Women Wednesdays

There are some singers that make me want to either be a better singer or to just duct tape my mouth shut and never sing again. These two women from this family are two such women. There is a "je ne sais quoi" about their voices that just haunts me. So beautiful. Of course the production quality of this video and the instrumentation and the harmonies, and women playing the double bass, and brothers who can sing....It all adds up to a significant stirring for me. As such, I'm posting 3 videos today of the Franz Family. I know the first song is a Christmas song, and I know it is January, but is there really ever a poor time to remember that Jesus is Emmanuel - God with us? Didn't think so.

Enjoy.



A little extra dose of Blue Grass:



And then this: *sigh*

Christmas Countdown

There are soome Christmas songs that everyone covers because they are just that good. This is one of them. But there is something about this version, sung by the lyricist himself, that makes it my favourite version of it. Ever. Mark Lowry sings his song slower than most. And he sings it like he's really speaking to Mary, and really just as awed as she must have been to find out just who her son truly was.

Christmas Countdown

This carol speaks to me. Always has. And this version in particular is very stirring. Our choir sang this last year. Any WLA'ers able to still sing along?

This might be my favourite of the Christmas Countdown.

Christmas Countdown

You need to just close your eyes now. And possibly have a tissue handy. There is no video to watch; only sublime beauty to hear.

What's in a Name?

If you are anything like me, which I'm sure you are, there are times when you just haven't got a foggy clue what you are doing, and you are pretty sure that no one has ever felt as lost as you, and that no one could ever possibly get the disaster your brain is in. Can I get an "amen"? Anyone? Thank you.

I remember one such time. It was way back in the days of "the Townhouse" which is code for "the days when, yes we were living in the townhouse, but more than that it was in the time of life when we had 4 kids under the age of 4, and I was embroiled in my biggest life battle to date".

Someone had directed me to a blog and forum for moms where I went to find someone who understood me. Someone who'd been there. I tried to submit two questions about my state of confusion and exhaustion on the forum. The first they refused to post as it "encouraged something the moderators didn't endorse". So the second question, I made sure to be broad and unoffensive and something that would stir some helpful conversation.

What I said was something like this: "I'm a very young mom. I stay at home with my kids all the time. I love it and wouldn't have it any other way, but I'm really tired. And sometimes pretty sad. Can anyone relate?" What I received back was a bunch of platitudes and "right answers".

"No, I love it! I'm so blessed to be at home and I never feel tired or grumpy at all!"

"No, the joy of the Lord is *my* strength. I sure never feel sad at home at all!"

"Who could ever feel lonely when Jesus is your present help and comfort?"

And you know what? I knew all that. I knew that was supposed to be my reality, but the reality was that I was still tired: physically, emotionally, spiritually tired. My spiritual life was not stagnant. I was not being disobedient, or ungrateful, or rebellious. I had a wonderful husband with a fabulous marriage, and a supportive church. My little children were good sleepers and fairly obedient, all things considered. Life wasn't bad. I wasn't complaining. I was just a busy, tired woman. And no one understood. Or so I thought. They weren't hearing me. They weren't getting me. They couldn't help me.

One day in my quiet time I sat down hoping to hear a word of encouragement in my daily reading. I felt a strange prompting to read 1 Chronicles 3:8. Really? Really.

I kind of ignored it, but it wouldn't go away, so I finally turned to that spot thinking I was probably imagining things. Sure enough, the verse says this: "Elishama, Eliada, and Eliphelet". Nope. Not a word from the Lord. Just a list of names.

I tried to move on, back to my scheduled reading for the day, but I couldn't shake the feeling that I was to read that passage again. So I did, and the whole chapter looking for something in the context. Nothing. It is just a list of the descendants of David. I was hoping that those 3 names were not the ordained names for my next 3 children!

Still, I felt like I was supposed to "get" something out of that verse. Finally, I thought to look up in a bible dictionary what those names meant.

Here's what those names mean, and what the Lord wanted me to know that day: "The Lord hears, The Lord knows, and The Lord will deliver."

He understood me. He heard my prayers. He knew my heart. And, as my present help in times of trouble, he would deliver me in his time and in his way.

How grateful I was that day for 3 funny sounding names. And how grateful I am still that we have a Lord who sympathizes with our weakness, and who understands our frailty, and who can speak to any specific circumstance in our day through the Word.

What does the Lord mean to speak to you today? What burden do you need Him to carry for you? He is more than able. And more than willing. And that is a very, very good thing.

Wow-ful Women Wednesdays

This Sunday I have the joy of leading the music at our church again. It is such a humbling thing to do. There is nothing better than being surrounded by my musician friends using their gifts to worship the Lord and hearing the Body of Christ singing their worship to the Lord too. If you will allow me a (possibly cheesy) word picture, let me try to explain what it is like to be surrounded by worshippers. When I was a young girl I had a friend who had a large weeping willow tree on her yard. We would push through the hanging tendrils and hide in the sanctum sanctorum of the mighty tree. We were completely enveloped in the shelter of the tree, set apart from the rest of the world. And that is how it feels when I get the privilege of being enveloped on all sides by instruments and voices, all of us singing with one heart, set apart for our great God and King. There's nothing like it.

This Sunday, as I said, we have the joy of doing it all again. This time we have a really pared down band. Piano. Bass. Acoustic Guitar. Three voices. I'm looking forward to filling the church with some good harmonies and simple melodies. Every once in a while I have a moment of worry that the sound will be too thin or the voices too sparse to adequately convey to the Lord our GREAT thanks to him. But I think that fear is unfounded. He knows our hearts. And no "bigness" of sound ever could be enough to adequately praise him anyway.

I've said here before that whenever I sing the Hymn "O For a Thousand Tongues to Sing" I always assume the hymn writer meant that he wished he had 1000 tongues of his own as if that might give him greater ability to sing his great redeemer's praise. Maybe that's not what he meant, but it sure is in my mind's eye.

So this weekend we will praise God in our big smallness. And I can't wait. And if I needed any confirmation that a small team can make a joyful sound there is this video (which granted, has nothing to do with the God-theme of this post, but does have the same band make up.) :-)

Happily See-Through

We teach our kids about the omniscience and omnipresence of our God. That is, we let them know that God knows everything, sees everything, is everywhere, and so on. We can't hide from him. He is always by our side. He is always aware of what is going on with us. And this is a comfort.

That's what we tell them.

That's what I believe.

But since we're all about honesty and fuel for thought around here I figure I better 'fess up a bit about something. There is a verse that we have taught our kids which is meant to be a comfort when they are comparing themselves to others: Man looks at outward appearances but the Lord examines the heart.

So don't worry if kids laugh at what you look like, it is what is on the inside that counts. Don't worry if what you tried to do failed on the outside, the Lord knows what good intentions you had in your heart.

But....

I have always quaked with fear about that. I mean, really, isn't it often so much easier to look good on the outside? To fake a happy heart when inside your heart is throwing a selfish hissy fit? (Someone say amen, please. Don't leave me hanging)

I don't want to be a hypocrite. I don't want to be a "white-washed tomb" looking nice on the outside, but actually being cold, hard and dead on the inside. I want to not shake in my boots when I think about the Lord examining my heart.

And here is the good news: I don't have to quake. I don't have to be afraid of what he'll find. Because when I follow Christ, when I acknowledge his lordship over my life, then it is no longer I who live but Christ who lives in me.

Charles Spurgeon said: "Rejoice then, believer, in this: thou art accepted "in the beloved." Thou lookest within, and thou sayest, "There is nothing acceptable here!" But look at Christ, and see if there is not everything acceptable there. Thy sins trouble thee; but God has cast thy sins behind his back, and thou art accepted in the Righteous One."

When God the Father, the holy judge, looks in at my heart he no longer sees my sin and my selfishness, but rather sees the righteousness, the goodness, the perfection, of his Son poured out over me and in me and through me.

Transparency has never felt so good.

Wow-ful Women Wednesdays

"He sent from on high, he took me; he drew me out of many waters. He rescued me from my strong enemy and from those who hated me, for they were too mighty for me. They confronted me in the day of my calamity, but the Lord was my support. He brought me out in to a broad place, he rescued me, because he delighted in me."

"What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare his own Son but gave himself up for us all, how will he not also with him graciously give us all things?"



(Ps.18:16-19, Rom.8:31-32)

You Are For Me

Verse 1
So faithful
So constant
So loving and so true
So powerful in all You do
You fill me
You see me
You know my ev'ry move
You love for me to sing to You

Chorus 1
I know that You are for me
I know that You are for me
I know that You will never forsake me in my weakness
And I know that You have come now
Even if to write upon my heart
To remind me who you are

Verse 2
So patient
So gracious
So merciful and true
So wonderful in all You do
You fill me
You see me
You know my ev'ry move
And You love for me to sing to You Lord

CCLI Song No. 5265457
© 2008 Gateway Create Publishing (Admin. by Integrity's Praise! Music)
Kari Jobe
For use solely with the SongSelect Terms of Use. All rights Reserved. www.ccli.com
CCLI License No. 164330

Impressing God

How long have I sat thinking about this post? How long have I had a weight on my heart about this post? *sigh*

My first stirrings and musings on this matter came some 6 years ago when I read "An Unstoppable Force" by Erwin McManus. The whole book kind of got under my skin. And if I'm being honest, I felt sort of annoyed by the premise and presumption in the book. I don't own a copy of the book, so forgive me as I paraphrase, as best as I can, a recurring theme in his writing that got my goat. He would talk about how praying for our children to be safe was a poor thing to pray for. That our goal for ourselves and our children and our churches should be to live dangerous lives for Christ. God wasn't calling us to lives of safety, but to lives of danger, and risk, and doing big things for God.

Now, I agree that the Word promises that we will have trial. We will have tribulations. There is no denying that saints throughout history, and even to today, are suffering for the dangerous righteousness they are living out. And there is no denying that Christ himself did not choose an easy life of safety during his time on earth.

I agree that we need to live lives that are full of action. James says, "Faith without works is dead" and "Be not merely hearers of the word but doers also". We need to act. Jesus acted. I get that. I know the Parable of the Talents. I know how displeased the Manager was with the worker who merely buried his talents, folding his hands and twiddling his thumbs in safety and ease. And I know how pleased he was with the workers who used and developed and risked the talents for a greater reward. I know these truths.

And don't get me wrong: I know myself well enough to know that at heart I am lazy and selfish, and prone to justify my laziness and selfishness under the guise of "being cautious" or "being reasonable". I am also prone to worry, and so the easy thing for me would be to bubble wrap my children and say it was "just being a good steward of the gifts God has given to me".

And also don't get me wrong: The last thing I want is for the church to be a bunch of complacent, comfortable, casserole-loving, isolated, irrelevant, nice guys.

So I struggle with this. I don't want to live a meaningless life of ease and inactivity. I don't want to displease God by wasting the days he has given to me. And yet I look at the life he has given me and wonder how a mom of 7 is supposed to "go and do some big thing to impress God"? I mean, after all, I'm *just* a stay at home mom.

And then I see a video like this...



...and I don't disagree. I think he's right. On many, many levels, he is absolutely right.

But...

Will someone say that being a mom *is* doing a big thing for God?

Will someone please say that choosing to quit your job, live on one income, and stay home and homeschool is living a scary, crazy, unsafe life for some of us?

Will someone please say that being a mom or a dad who works all day, shining the light of Christ to his or her co-workers, and then coming home and making supper, reading stories, praying with the kids, and selflessly spending even more weary hours shining the light at home, and ushering your children into the kingdom of Christ through faith *is* doing a 'big thing for God'?

Will someone please say that working joyfully day in and day out on the factory assembly line,

and honouring your parents,

and loving the saints,

and serving in the local church,

and tithing,

and living your whole life--every second of every day--as a living sacrifice of worship to Christ is just as much a "big thing for God" as anything else you can dream up?

For some wholehearted Christ-seekers, the call will, in fact, be to pick up and spread the gospel to the far-reaching, life-threatening corners of the globe, and to them I say, "Thank you for going, and thank you for making those sacrifices, and thank you for being faithful. May the Lord bless you for your courage and faithful obedience." Truly.

But for the rest of us wholehearted Christ-seekers, who, for the time at least, are being called to stay home and just shine for Christ here, let me say to you, "Thank you for staying, and thank you for making these sacrifices, and thank you for being faithful. May the Lord bless you for your courage and faithful obedience, too."

We need to remember, *I* need to remember, that God is self-sufficient. He doesn't need me or you to dream up something wonderful to do. He doesn't need our service, he doesn't need our "staying" or our "going". However, He does invite us. And when and where and how he invites us better stir our hearts to specific obedience, no matter how different our invitation looks from that of the person next to us.

"One who is faithful in a very little is also faithful in much, and one who is dishonest in a very little is also dishonest in much." "Everyone to whom much was given, of him much will be required, and from him to whom they entrusted much, they will demand more." (Luke 16:10, Luke 12:48)

Lord, you have entrusted me with much here. Let me be faithful in this before I venture off to do anything else. Help me to hear your voice, and your call on my life so I can obey the things you've called me to do, and not try to respond to someone else's call. Help me to remain content in this big thing you've called me to instead of longingly looking for some other way to "impress" you. Thank you for this call, and for this mission. I pray that you will find me to be a faithful servant. And I do pray that you will embolden your church to do the things that please you, starting with the small acts of obedience and faithfulness right in front of our faces.

Wow-ful Women Wednesday

Speechless...

Kari Jobe -- Healer



You hold my every moment
You calm my raging seas
You walk with me through fire
And heal all my disease

I trust in You
I trust in You

I believe You're my healer
I believe You are all I need
I believe You're my portion
I believe You're more than enough for me
Jesus You're all I need

Nothing is impossible for You
Nothing is impossible
Nothing is impossible for You
You hold my life in Your hands

Uphill Both Ways

As Christians, we aren’t supposed to like what has come to be called “the Valley experience”. Am I right? We are supposed to be striving for the mountain-top moments where we shine like a light for Christ, joyful, productive, happy, and showing the world how great our lives are. Right?

Well I agree. There is certainly nothing wrong with loving those parts of life. Certainly nothing wrong with celebrating the Lord’s goodness and providence in those moments where, even if everything is NOT right with the world, we are at least resting, trusting, and glorifying God with our lives, actions and attitudes.

But here is the thing: I think the valley is easier.

“What? No, it isn’t,” you say. “The valley hurts, the valley is dark and sad, and lonely, and sometimes it is the valley of the shadow of death. I don’t want that. I want to say, like Psalm 40, ‘He brought me up out of the pit of destruction, out of the miry clay; And He set my feet upon a rock making my footsteps firm.’ That’s what I want: not the valley”.


Please read the rest of my latest article for Heart of the Matter Online.

Wow-ful Women Wednesdays

I have posted this group before. They have gone through a few different member combinations, but this was always my absolute favourite quartet that they've been (especially the gal who sings verse 2. Love.) These 4 just....man. Wow.

And this hymn might need to be sung at my funeral. Just sayin'.

And also, if they ever need a new girl singer...or, like, a babysitter, I'm so there.

Enjoy. This is golden. It just is a "deep calls to deep" moment for me. This is what my soul sighs.



Actually, here they are singing another fantastic hymn. Genius!