I Could Have Been Rich!

Who knew that it was so easy to make a pile of cash? And I mean a fairly decent pile of cash. Look at these financial incentives that are being offered to kids today.

If you can stay in school, smoke free, you can earn $5K. That's $5,000. Seriously? Wow. I could handle that. I never smoked in high school. I could have had $5 Easy Grand. Sweet. Direct from the link above, this is how the program works:

In order to be eligible for a financial REWARD each youth must:

1) Stay Smoke Free

2) Graduate High School

3) Sign up sponsors who will commit to donating about $25 a month to the REWARDS Foundation.

If you are a youth and you want a chance to earn some money towards college, university then sign up and put in the effort of finding sponsors. The world is a competitive place. We give you the tools, and you put them to work. This is the first lesson in how to create a successful life.

Oh, so the money doesn't grow off trees. I have to find sponsors who will pay $25 a month to the program to pay me not to do something I should be smart enough not to do anyway, especially since purchasing cigarettes at a high school age is ILLEGAL. Getting paid to not break the law. Nice. I can do that.

Then there is this option: Money for Nothing

The article sites that there are school boards who pay students more than minimum wage to attend "Learn and Earn" Workshops after school (formerly called "detention"? or "Extra Credit"?) and that other school boards were handing out $100 or Flat Screen TV's for passing grades. Let me tell you, outside of OAC Algebra and OAC Calculus, I was a straight A student. I even rocked Phys. Ed because I could write a wicked awesome test which balanced out the fact that I couldn't dribble worth nothin' (unless you are talking about trying to drink out of a pop can while walking. I ace *that* kind of dribbling to this day).

And finally, one more Take the Money and Run option for students: Just Don't Do It

This program pays girls ages 12-18 $1 a day to, wait for it, not get pregnant. Say what? So abstinence teaching is a bad thing, but paying them a dollar to be "smart" about their, um... "extracurricular activites" is a good thing? Some girls have earned $2000. Really? Wow.

Okay so clearly these days I would not be making much cashola on this program. In fact in the last 10 years I'd have only made $1690 out of a possible $3650. Man. Talk about sacrifice. But in High school, between these 3 programs I could have walked away with enough to pay for my full 4 year degree. Sweet. Forget getting a job and being taught financial responsibility and a good work ethic and some measure of moral standard. Let's just bribe kids to good behaviour with some serious coin. (and yes, this may slightly strengthen my determination to continue homeschooling)

As a wise sage once sang "I got change in my pocket goin' jing-a-ling-a-ling". Maybe if I had have been born later in human history I could have had some stocks and bonds instead.