9 year old daughter: Okay Mom, just tell us the truth. Are you pregnant?
Me: (having a little trouble breathing suddenly) Um....No. Truthfully, really, not.
9 yo: Well, the baby is 1 now and usually around now you are announcing things.
Me: (feeling a bit lightheaded suddenly) Um....Nope. Really not.
5 Year old son: Really? Because you are a little fat.